One of my clients recently had to make a hard employee hiring decision. She was faced with managing the politics of interviewing a talented person from another team. (You know how it is, people don't want to lose top talent!).
She considered her leadership values in her approach and used them to help her maneuver her conversations with this potential candidate. She discovered someone was unhappy with the way she approached the issue. As a self-admitted people pleaser, this bothered her.
She reached out to me and rehashed the issue, explained why she acted in the manner she did, considered the feedback she received thoughtfully. Ultimately, as the senior leader of the division, she felt she chose the best approach. She asked, “What advice do you have for me? How should I have handled this differently?”
Spoiler alert, as a coach, I don't give advice, but instead point people back to finding the right action to take in alignment with their values - which she had. Instead, I asked her this:
What are you willing to be criticized for?
Here's the thing. As a leader, there will be so much ambiguity and competing goals. There are many colleagues and bosses who have opinions on the right thing for your career. People are eager to give you advice on the best decision you should make, and it's tempting to go along with popular opinion and what seems to make everyone happy.
But at the end of the day, leaders have to make hard choices that will never make everybody happy. So, a more empowering question to ask yourself is to consider the things you believe in so strongly that you are willing to ensure the criticism that will follow. Because it will.
For me personally, because I am on a mission to advance women to the rooms where decisions are made, I am willing to endure criticism on the progressive policies that I advocate corporate America should implement for women.
I have clients who are willing to endure criticism on their approach to slowing down change to ensure everyone understands the why behind it. I coach leaders who are willing to endure criticism for moving a bit too quickly because they believe momentum is key to driving innovation.
What topics, approaches, or policies do you believe in so strongly that you are willing to endure the criticism? (keep reading for tips!) Remember, when we speak up about matters that are deeply important to us, we inspire others to follow suit. This is how movements happen and change accelerates. As you accelerate higher into leadership, your ability to endure criticism will need to expand, too.
PUT THIS IDEA INTO ACTION
I get it, the thought of being criticized feels like the most undesirable, uncomfortable thing you can imagine. However, never wanting to experience criticism keeps people from acting, leading and ultimately fulfilling their potential. So, how do you begin to figure out these actions and beliefs that you stand for? How can you discern what non-negotiables you have as a leader that you are willing to be criticized for?
Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine those leadership qualities that you are willing to endure criticism for:
Who do I admire as a leader?
Name 3-5 adjectives about them. (i.e creative, honest, detailed, etc)
Why do you admire them?
What we admire in others gives us clues to what we value in ourselves and what we stand for as a leader.
Name and claim these qualities you stand for.
What are my non-negotiables? (For example, when I lead training teams, my non-negotiable is arriving 30 minutes before start. In relationships it's no name calling.)
List 3-5 actions or policies you are unwilling to negotiate
How am I communicating my non-negotiables
Why are these specific non-negotiables critical to success or happiness?
What's my mission as a leader?
What have I been called to do?
What change do I want to make possible on teams or in organizations?
Who am I called to serve? To lead? To help?
Try this next: Make an enduring criticism statement. Try this mad lib:
In my pursuit of ____________ I am willing to be criticized for ….
Ex. In my pursuit of advancing women to the rooms where decisions are made, I am willing to be criticized for being too progressive or unreasonable in my corporate policy recommendations for women.
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