I delivered my Tedx Talk on Thursday, November 21. I have to admit, that was the most nerve-wracking speaking experience of my career. But the journey of delivering this Tedx Talk actually started back in 2018. I am giving you a warning for a longer series of articles ahead, but I'd love to unpack this journey with you and hopefully translate it into tools you can use in your daily leadership.
Part One (This): How do you find a single idea you are passionate about spreading?
Part Two: How to construct a short, compelling talk to change hearts and minds?
Part Three (coming soon): How to deal with the overwhelming nerves and anxiety of high-stakes presentations.
My Tedx Talk journey actually began in 2018 when I attended a live event to watch some speakers I knew. I knew how intense the process was of writing and reworking a talk and then having to memorize the 10-14 minute product. I watched as some of the speakers struggled on stage in front of 400 people to remember their lines, have to start over or exit the stage and come back on as their nerves got the best of them. To be honest, I left the venue partially convinced I never wanted to do a Ted talk. It just seemed so stressful, but a thought always lingered in my mind, “If I ever did do a talk, what would it be about?”
But as the universe has a sense of humor, Tedx Omaha approached me in 2022 to consider doing a talk. It was shortly after the leak that Roe v Wade would be overturned, and in my fury, I considered doing a talk to discuss the reproductive health care challenges for women related to infertility. However, I had a gut feeling that just wasn't my “idea worth spreading” as Ted calls it. As I teach in my advocacy model, I kept asking myself, “Is this mine to share?” A still, small voice kept saying, “No.” Additionally, my book was set to be released in the fall and I knew my time would be crunched.
So, I trusted my gut and honored my time commitments to my book and said no. Plus, I just hadn't found that idea that I would want to single out and talk about for 10 minutes. I would have ideas from time to time, but I would ask myself, Do I want to be associated with that idea and however long it lives on social media? If I felt a hesitation or cringe, I knew the answer was no.
In fact, here's a short list of Ted Talk ideas that I mentally eliminated before even applying:
How to get women into leadership teams, what barriers get in the way
What women would do with more confidence.
How to support women leaders better
How workplaces can better support infertility
Your body is trustworthy - Teach the three questions to trust your head heart and gut
Self-aware leaders are successful leaders - knowing yourself better
The key to connection is feeling your emotions
As my book launched and I stood in front of more audiences to deliver keynote talks or presentations to Employee Resource Groups, one topic that barely took up more than a paragraph in my book kept emerging - how often we put others on a pedestal and assume they are smarter than us, and therefore, we silence our own ideas.
So in late spring of 2023 I reached out to my Tedx Omaha contact about speaking, however they had already chosen their speakers for that year. So, I'd have to wait another year. This year was a gift, because I challenged myself to see if this “pedestal problem” was indeed a broader issue or if one of the topics from my original list would emerge.
The challenge with delivering a great Ted-style talk is to focus on a SINGLE IDEA. This is so important for leaders to understand because it works the same way in business. If you want to build your story-telling skills to influence others, you have to strip down your content and focus on one idea for about every 10-15 minutes you are speaking to a group.
As they say about books, ideas or these talks in general, I didn't find the Ted Talk idea, the Ted Talk idea found me. Over the course of that year I didn't encounter a single client who didn't - in some form - silence their own ideas or intuitions because they were putting a co-worker (or even an influencer!) on a pedestal. They thought that given their status, or title or charisma that they knew best, so my client's ideas and intuitions didn't matter. Or, there was no room for their expertise.
As I told about my own “pedestal problem” in my keynotes, people would approach me later with their own stories of how they would stifle themselves in meetings. I began to reflect on my passion of reading and watching corporate scandals and observing that the “pedestal problem” turned so many of these leaders into “brilliant jerks” who never got good feedback because people were too intimidated to share concerns with them.
As I prepared my application to apply for a 2024 Ted Talk in early January, which had the theme of “Connections,” I could see nearly everywhere this single “pedestal problem” was interrupting the connection people had with themselves, the connections they made with others, and the connection with the future that they deeply desired to create.
Deep in my gut, this idea brought together three passions of mine and fit the criteria of something I'd be happy to be associated with should the idea take off. The Pedestal Problem:
Made me angry. Both when I succumbed to it and when I saw others do it. It made me angry to watch jerk-y leaders ruin lives and careers because they were on a pedestal.
Yet, it was part of something I loved. It seemed to be root cause in a topic I've always loved to read and watch documentaries about (corporate scandals)
Inspired action. I obsessed thinking about the ripple effects of solving this. What would be possible if more women owned their expertise and shared it? What new voices and ideas could we hear?
You might be thinking, “This is great, Kelli, but I'm just working my corporate job here and not giving a Ted talk.” However, what great influencers know is that people are more likely to be moved and inspired by the stories you tell. This is the secret to getting teams on board with your idea. Think back to the last time you shifted your thinking or got on board with a new idea. Was it because people convinced you with their logic or endless data? Or, were you moved by a single yet effective story?
🔥 What would be possible in your ability to influence and make an impact of you could reduce the “noise” in your delivery and focus on inspiring others around a single idea? Or, maybe you want to write a book or start a blog someday. How could you use this same line of thinking to build a following around your idea?
Click below for a snippet of the crux of my “idea worth spreading”.
The full talk will be live in January 2025!
PUT THIS IDEA INTO ACTION
What's YOUR idea worth spreading? Maybe it's a side hustle you want to create, a blog you want to start or that book you've always wanted to write. Perhaps is the idea you've been sitting on and you want to take to your leader or steering committee. Perhaps, it's just something you want to talk about more passionately on social media.
Give this framework a try and see if it sparks something for you. (I'd love to know what comes up for you - email me!):
What makes me angry in the world or at work and I want to change it?
What makes us angry or resentful is usually a clue we desire change.
Notice what typically frustrates you at work - why?
What is happening behind the scenes that could be the root cause of this?
For example in my talk, I was angry that we kept hearing all men's voices in meetings. The root cause was women underestimating themselves and deferring to men in leadership, putting them on a pedestal.
What is something that fascinates you, or something you love to read about and watch?
What problems do you love to solve?
What books, shows or podcasts do you love to watch/listen to and why? What is the theme?
Could there be any connections to what makes you angry?
For example, I love books and documentaries about corporate scandals and so many scandals result because employees put leaders on a pedestal, overestimating the leader's knowledge and underestimating their own abilities and intuitions that could have stopped poor behavior sooner.
What is a problem you are obsessed with solving or a future you desire to create?
What do you want to create in your lifetime?
What do you want to help others accomplish?
What problem are you so passionate about solving that you are 1) willing to play the long game and 2) endure some criticism?
For example, I am obsessed with getting more women to the rooms where decisions are made and hearing more of their voices on policies, decisions and future-of-work thinking. So, it aligns with my “pedestal problem” because if I can help women take others off the pedestal and stop underestimating themselves, we can create a ripple effect of hearing from more women in leadership.
TRY THIS NEXT: Can you simply start by getting to the root cause of something that makes you angry? Is there a problem to be solved here? WHY are you the person to have a “big idea” about how to solve this?
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Kelli Thompson is a leadership & executive coach, award-winning speaker and author of Closing The Confidence Gap. She is on a mission to help women advance to the rooms where decisions are made. She offers executive coaching, leadership workshops and keynote speaking to lead with more clarity and confidence.
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